Okay, so it's 2010 now, but we're not quite ready to let go of 2009 just yet. Besides, no-one really does anything the first few days of January as it is. Relive the year that's past by checking out the most popular reviews of the year just gone - including that Pixies review where I managed to offend hundreds of fans the world over.
If you too would like to offend, shock or just plain educate the proletariat masses with your vast musical expertise, email us over at artrockercontent@gmail.com or to reviewthisartrocker@gmail.com if you've got something you think we should be turning our beady collective eye towards.
There’s a quote in a bathroom of in an infamous venue in Glasgow that sets out all the awful things about the music industry, finishing with "…and then there’s the bad bits."
..a rather apt description. I was all set to give a review and photos of Green Day’s first return to Scotland after the American Idiot Tour in February 2005, when the usual industry follies got in the way. Along with most of the rest of the press, the guestlist was screwed, meaning that I ended up ejected unceremoniously after 12 and a half minutes. So henceforth this is my own self-indulgent rambling of those minutes instead.. and probably a photo-gallery to follow.
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What on earth is this double A side about? King Charles seems to be an odd character, and people keep going on about his hair for some reason. I get the impression that he’s a bit of a wild arty type, which is good, but I’d never heard of him before this - so he could be a guy in a suit for all I know.
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By the time Nirvana had come to fame, the Pixies had already come and gone. They never really did get all that much recognition at the time, but retrospectively they’ve become somewhat of a must-have for anyone with an ear for alternative music.
Tonight saw them return to Glasgow after 18 years – their last trip in 1991, where the stage collapsed after only a few songs.
It’s here. We’re one of the first to get a hold of a copy of Health’s eagerly anticipated second ‘proper’ album (forgetting the remix LP for now) – in all of its glory. The limited-to-500-copies clear vinyl that I hold in my hand is so early infact, that the download link provided doesn’t even work yet. A quick Google will find scores of people trying to get their grubby digital paws on something.. anything to do with ‘Get Color’ that it feels like a special privilege to wrap back the plastic.
After getting over the dodgy Americanised spelling of the name, as well as my turntable going schitzo halfway through side A - refusing to stop spinning, or moving the tone-arm back and forth from its resting position, I finally managed to feast my ears on the latest ‘noise-rock’ offering.
Or so I thought anyway. Health don’t really fit that tag – not when you throw them in with the likes of Abe Vigoda or the Paper Chase or any of the other more ‘traditional’ band set-ups (bearing in mind how different this lot are already). If you imagine a duck throwing a microphone at a metal wall, you get some sort of idea of what you might expect from what we’ve heard from Health already; drums and guitar parts flying in from nowhere and dropping dead at your feet all over the place.
So in case you didn’t know, Arctic Monkeys’ third album leaked earlier this week and although I haven’t downloaded it I know from the 30 seconds I’ve heard of ‘Crying Lighting’ that I’d probably gain greater pleasure sticking a cheese grater up my arse and bopping down a hill on a space hopper than hearing the rest of the album. Don’t get me wrong, I used to be as keen as any other young 16 year old boy to jump to the defence of Alex Turner and his pals, but they’ve let me down. "But they’ve gone in a darker direction" wail the fanboys with their cocks firmly still up Turner’s arse. Since when has the definition of ‘darker’ been slowing your songs down to a mind-numbingly boring tempo and singing lyrics so metaphorically shit that he may as well be fapping into the microphone?
Photo: Charlie Ingham
Offset Festival: 2 days in Essex, plenty of bands to see from the unusual No Bra to the headliners The Horrors and everything in-between - Offset has to be the coolest festival this summer. It actually felt that this weekend was the last weekend of summer. Let’s get one thing out of the way first, there was no mud, no rain, no wellies, no rain coats. Although in true indie-kid style, Barbour Jackets seem to be making a comeback, but only if you couple them with retro ray-bans.
There were way too many bands for me to get round, 170-ish over the weekend, ranging from the good, (Hatcham Social), the bad (No Bra), and the ugly (I’m not saying who). This festival really does feel like you can find some new music just by wandering into a tent to see what’s happening. When I say tent I mean the big white ones with the music blaring out, not the small eurohike ones on the adjacent camp site you fall into at the end of the first day after too much cider (no comment).
So Saturday was all about The Slits. There were of course some bands playing from the off that I should have seen due to the name alone, but didn’t; What would Jesus Drive?, Lekiddo - Lord of the Lobsters!, Sex is Disgusting. I feel bad that I missed them. Err, well, maybe not.
Offset suggests that this festival "joins the dots between exciting new bands and the artists who influenced them" and you really do get a sense of things to come. A band that oozes energy and excitement are Dananananaykroyd. It’s difficult to label this band; they have two singers, two drummers, two guitarists and one bass player. It’s jump around like a maniac, scream at the top of your voice, crowd surf, craziness - which after a morning of watching people singing at their feet was just what the crowd needed. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing angry about this band, in fact it’s more pop than hardcore, even the singer Calum Gunn asked the security man if he was allowed to crowd surf. The guy said no, but Calum went for it anyway. At least he asked. This band loved the crowd and the crowd loved them back. Ahh bless. Calum even went as far as to go and hug as many of them as he could at the end of the set.
I’m happy to report that The Zookeepers are back with a completely brilliant new LP.
Fresh Legs are an art pop band from Portsmouth who by all accounts set alight the Red Bull stage at this year’s Bestival with their twisty riffs and gold spandex. They’ve just released a new EP - Julian - and it’s a delight.
Close to Home is the best British roots record I’ve heard in a long long time. It’s a glorious recreation of the classic ragged country blues and bluegrass sounds from across the water but at the same time, it’s firmly British. Sam’s from Yorkshire, he’s proud of it and he’s steeped this record in the county that he loves.
¡Cañaceros! is a brilliant DIY pop punk record from Bonus Eventus, due out at the end of November on Dinosaurs in Vietnam. Packed with joy de vivre - it’s the kind of album that makes you happy to be alive. It’s also the kind of album that makes you want to pour some absyinthe on your cornflakes and start the party early, so booze soaked are the lyrics. They fit the tunes perfectly though, telling one long story of drunkeness, partying and fun times. That might give the impression that the words are pretty dumb - they’re not at all. There’s some wry wit chucked in, and the band have one eye on the consequences of their excesses. Thankfully, they’re too young to worry about that now and don’t ruin things with melancholy twists and hangovers.
iLiKETRAiNS DEMO OF THE WEEK:
ISTVAN & THE KOSMAS / DISCO CLUB IMPERIAL
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Placebo pictures: just in - some photos of Placebo and Brian Molko from last week’s gig at the Glasgow SECC.
Also check out the review here
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