Surplus To Requirement: The Top 10 List of Top Album Lists of 2008

by Johnny Truant Post to Twitter

The Top 5 Top Albums of 2008

Because it’s that time of year, when every publication suddenly decides it has listened to every record worth listening to and compiles them into a numerical list of cultural impact and importance, it seems appropriate to compile a top five list of top album lists of 2008. Let’s see how relevant, exciting and forward thinking they were. Yes. Fight fire with fire, I say.

1) Plan B 

Streets ahead of everyone else, they eschewed any numbering system and instead talked about the albums they’d reviewed that they especially loved. A diverse selection and some underrated gems were given a good once over. Far more innovative and exhilirating than their closest peers.

2) The Wire

Sure, we all knew only about five of the whole Top 50 but isn’t that the point of the Wire? It’s supposed to be so obscure and impenetrable that you can’t help but want to be part of it to show that you know SOMETHING about music. Also, because of them, people will talk about The Bug as if they’ve been listening to it all year and not for five minutes before dismissing it as a reggae record.

3) Fact

A lovely little list, marred by the usual commercial casualties (MGMT – yawn), but the Number One is fantastic: Gang Gang Dance. There are a few records here not mentioned anywhere else. It’s part of being among the elite(ist). 

4) Drowned In Sound 

So M83 was Number 1? Brilliant. Unapologetically putting an 80s inspired electronic shoegaze record at the top and a very similar record, Cut Copy, following one place behind, it showed forward thinking and a disregard for the community. What a Top 50 should be.  

5) Cokemachineglow

Like a tumultuous journey through the swirling oceans of musical pretention, CMG poured all kinds of unexpected musical diversions into their Top 50. It’s truly inspired by no other Top 50 and happens to stand alone in a clash of genres.

The Bottom Top Albums of 2008 

Because it’s that time of year, when every publication suddenly decides it has listened to every record worth listening to and compiles them into a numerical list of cultural impact and importance, it seems appropriate to compile a bottom five list of top album lists of 2008. Let’s see how pointless, predictable and reliably identikit they were. Yes. Fight fire with fire, I say. 

1) Artrocker 

Perhaps because none of the writers were asked their opinions (a fucking good idea in reality, as we wouldn’t want Kings of Leon, Vampire Weekend and MGMT being mentioned again) and the editor did it at home in about five minutes, it looked pretty unexciting. Late of the Pier at Number 2? Just because you’ve been bumming them for two years? Yeah nice one. 

2) NME 

As predictable as ever, anyone could’ve established the formula AND worked out who number one would be at least two weeks before it was published: some gems that weren’t even talked about, some controversial choices (Scarlett Johannson? Really?) and MGMT. Brilliantly, their “Album of the Year”, according to the press quote on the front of the album case, was only Number 3. That’d be Glasvegas. TV On The Radio, a band dismissed previously, got to number two with kids scratching their heads and fans of the band wondering why Return to Cookie Mountain hadn’t been 2006’s number one.

3) Q/Clash 

The dullest, most shit and awkwardly argued Top 50. Q, that is. What’s even more amusing is that Clash shared their Number One billing. At least Clash had Mike Diver’s amazing contributions. Q had contributions from the decaying, archaic brains of people who somehow find obvious pop music invigorating to the soul. What makes this an utter travesty is that Clash used to have potential which it’s now pissing away by following in the footsteps of the disgusting, putrid, ageing Q Magazine. 

4) Guardian 

Their Top 10 was chillingly vile, full of the records only earless clots enjoyed – or at least earless clots who weren’t looking deeper than the advertising pages of the NME. Sure there were a couple of good’uns but this didn’t make their Top 50 any more exciting, original or less indebted to tabloid generalisation.

5) Amazon/Play/Anything with user reviews 

There’s a reason music journalists exist and that’s to tell YOU what to listen to. Because, looking at these, none of you have a fucking clue.Anyone without a modicum of impartiality and writing ability should be shot like the treasonous dogs you are.

Happy New Year. x