Focus on Imaging 2007 promo film

by Parsley Post to Twitter

PARSLEY’S COMMLOCK On Location :Focus on Imaging 2007 promo film I was lucky to be involved in the making of a promo film for a photography show at the NEC end of Feb. Not being one for an early Sunday start I was regretting my 7am journey, but it proved to be highly worth it. 2 hours out of London in an Ipswich direction is the former RAF base at Bentwaters Parks Limited. It was sold to a private family who make it available to film companies for their crazy exploits.

Big Brother producers Endemol, for example, used it for their Space Cadets show. We saw some Russian labelled bunkers that were used in that. There are a few people whose insanity can only command the greatest respect, and one of these is photographer Nick Simpson. He has photographed me in various crazy outfits and locations, usually shouting "More teeth !" and this was his latest scheme. The film was to be a James Bond pastiche, taking the ‘007’ out of the 2007 of the exhibition it was being made for. I found myself chasing a lady spy in a mink coat through the woods, checking a James Bond character through a genuine checkpoint in his Aston Martin DB5, and goose stepping in front of 20 dismantled Jaguar fighter jets. I hope the results may see the light of day on youtube with some spy music I recorded a while back. I guess I slightly worried myself with the amount of fun I had playing soldier. Even more worrying was wondering how the real soldiers could possibly manage their aggression when their every working hour was filled with this stuff. Sorry, but I can honestly say this was one of the most fun Sundays I’d ever had.

Technology update : Is Microsoft cool ? After I saw a speaker at a Microsoft conference say that Apple was cool like Elvis, and Microsoft was uncool like your grandmother, I started to think about how you could make Microsoft look cool. First thing I thought was that my grandmother was actually very cool. She bought me my first UFO Interceptor toy from her bingo winnings, and she supported me when I was a punk. Elvis, on the other hand, whilst undoubtedly being the King of Rock and Roll, died at age 40 on the toilet. He ate too many hamburgers. Not cool. So what is cool ? At first iPods had to be white. Then they had to be black. Now some people look at my old white iPod and wonder if it’s a new one… So cool is whatever you think it is, whenever you think it. In my personal opinion the current wave of Microsoft advertising is dry as a bone and probably doesn’t even expect to make anyone think they are cool. It shows someone having an easier time when they start at a new company because Microsoft is there. Wow, that’s exciting but somehow my socks didn’t get blown off.

Better for me was their use of a myriad of role model ‘ambassadors’ at their conference I attended. It reminded me slightly of when Tony Blair appointed a wide range of people when he started as Prime Minister (Frank Fields, Tony Banks etc.). That was quite exciting at the time, although Blair weeded them all out (or they resigned) later. Microsoft’s equivalent dream team at their conference included Arfa Karim, an 11-year old Pakistani girl, and an early achiever of ‘Microsoft certification’. I didn’t believe it was accidental that a young girl from a predominantly Muslim country was being held up as an example.

I also saw Ed Gibson, the ex-FBI agent that Microsoft have brought in as a security adviser. He scared the hell out of us with stories such as that of a poor unemployed Ukrainian being brought into a life of cyber crime by the mob and having his girlfriend and parents brutalised when he tried to get out. Then he asked us what we could do about it ! A guy called Dave Chappell gave us a commentary on the progress of the software development strategies of Java (non-Microsoft) and .NET (Microsoft). According to him the Java one’s falling apart, but he concluded that lack of competition would be bad for Microsoft. Not something I’ve ever heard Microsoft claim, as they got fined for anti-competitive practices in Europe. It was good that they were letting such messages get stated at their own event.

After some reflection I concluded that probably the coolest thing Microsoft do is put computing within the financial reach of mere mortals. Computers now go for the price of a decent telly. When some internet nformation on health, or the ability to communicate, might make the difference between life and death, that sounds good. However, no sooner had I managed to give myself this positive perspective on Microsoft, when I saw that the South African space tourist is leading a campaign for ‘open source’ free software. Also, a guy just got a rebate from Dell because he took the Microsoft software off it when it arrived. Haven’t heard of any Apple Mac owners trying that. However, I’m not sure that this approach works in the long run without some organisation like Microsoft in the middle of it. Maybe it’s like preferring to get milk from a milkman instead of a cow… parsley.L@virgin.net [previous contributions available via www.gardenrecords.com]